Missing…big, puffy man…103 years old
They say he’s capable. He’s a worldly sort who survived through 103 years of war, economic downturns, and lawsuit-happy societies. They say he knows his way around.
But I’m worried…because, in today’s world, you just don’t know how safe you can feel if a 103 year-old puffy icon is missing and one of the world’s largest corporations can’t find him.
Bidendum, commonly known as Mr. Bibs or The Michelin Man is missing. He’s been gone for two weeks.
He was due to show up on September 17th and one of Greenville’s nicest hotels, the Westin Poinset. One has to imagine he wanted to be there. He’s big, white and poofy. The Westin’s bed comforters are big, white and poofy. It was a match made in heaven.
He chose to arrive via the Big Brown Truck (known to you and me as the UPS van). Somebody signed for him, he made it into the hotel and hasn’t been seen since. A local sports mascot–The Furman Paladin–covered for him in his absence, but it just wasn’t the same. And it hasn’t been for two weeks.
Bidendum…Mr. Bibs is missing.
Police can’t imagine he’d just wander off. From what we understand, after 103 years with the company, Mr. Bibs is quite loyal and rarely misses work for anything but under-inflation.
Police have a suspect, but I don’t think they’re getting anywhere.
More later…I have to call America’s Most Wanted.