Capitalism, Egotism, and Alcoholis…I mean good times!

Well, we did it. After sitting up half the night drinking beer by myself and watching network dramas I had taped from earlier in the week, the wife and I rolled out of bed at 6:00…no, 6:30…actually closer to 7AM (darned snooze button).

I opened my garage door and a guy said, “Good mornin’! Take fifty cents for those?”

The First Annual Mt. Willis Garage Sale was underway. I had almost canceled it. A cold front was blowing through and the ground was wet. But, those eager people would have none of it. Within three hours, they took most of our junk and gave us $200 for it. We just gave the rest of the mess to the Salvation Army. That’s $200 of food and drink for LEAF…coming up in 13 days.

I was reminded of something in the last couple of days that I sometimes forget.

The first to broach this subject with me was a guy by the named of Joey Two-Hands. Late one night after much too much Yucca (ask for the recipe of you like lemon drinks) he said, “We’ve been friends for a long time and I never have figured out why you’re so depressed all the time.” He then broke into a long description of times he watched me brood and wanted to kick my ass for it. (note: Joey is a nice guy and not prone to violence. Yucca is just a powerful libation and I was being a bit of a ninny).

The thing is…I’ve led just about the most fortunate life of anybody I know. My parents are still married. My grandparents are still living. My family has been successful. And I’ve got a great wife, great dog, and great friends. You can’t ask for much more than that.

Anyway, Joey was the first and recently I’ve had others remind me of the same. The reminder is always welcome.

Someday I will figure out why I brood. Unitl then, you’ll have to alternate between silly anecdotes of my silly life and the silly broodings of a…well, whatever I am.

We’re trying something new tonight.

My wife and a bunch of girls are taking a friend of ours out for her bacheorette party. The thing is, the bachelorette’s bachelor is in LA. That means we ape-like creatures have nothing to do.

We tossed a few ideas back and forth but couldn’t come up with much. Then a couple of guys came up with the best idea I’ve heard in weeks.

We’re calling it “Bachelor (Blank) Weekend.”

Tonight at 7pm, all the stranded apes are coming over to Mt. Willis. We’re all going to put our names in a hat. Whichever name gets drawn out gets to be the bachelor for the night. I may or may not let you know how it comes out.

Okay…the cold front is really cussing up a storm now. The wind against the vinyl siding sounds like an angry train whistle and an ice cream truck is driving below my window. It’s playing “Old McDonald” complete with quacks for the quack-quack-here and there parts.

I can’t decide if it’s too cold to go out and ask for a Slush Pop.

Brad Willis

Brad Willis is a writer based in Greenville, South Carolina. Willis spent a decade as an award-winning broadcast journalist. He has worked as a freelance writer, columnist, and professional blogger since 2005. He has also served as a commentator and guest on a wide variety of television, radio, and internet shows.

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