Insides…staying inside

The Bout with Botulism (a close second to the Thrilla in Manilla) seems to have passed. Still dealing with the after-effects. I think I pulled every muscle in my neck. Puking hurts sometimes.

I spent the day feeling weak and worried about the state of our country. I think we’re on top of all the security issues…at least I hope we are. I’m more worried about Adult Contempoary Radio. I won’t go into why I was listening to Lite Rock in the first place (we news reporter-types are often at the musical mercy of the people who drive our soft-asses around). But I feel I would be failing my few readers if I didn’t express some concern over some musical artist re-mixing “Baby I Love Your Way” with Skynard’s “Freebird.” I didn’t know whether to flic a Bic and sway with the redneck crowd or just flic a Bic and light myself on fire.

Now, I’m trying to make myself feel well enough to survive until Live Music Weekend. Tomorrow night I’m traveling to Clemson to see Eddie from Ohio play to the college crowd. Then Friday and Saturday nights, I’m catching a double-bill of Widespread Panic in Charlotte’s Cricket Arena.

On a work-related note…the parole board officially rescinded Wakefield’s parole this morning. Now the poor guy has to stay in prison. He gets a new hearing on the 27th. We’ll see what happens this time around.

On the “Why I’m Not Sure I Want to Work in a Big City” front: This weekend, a 74-year-old woman was killed in the parking lot of our biggest mall. She was walking along in the parking lot, a car sped towards her, hitting over. Somebody got out of the backseat, grabbed her purse and dragged her along the ground, before getting back in the car which then drove off. She hit her head and died. She was a volunteer who lost her husband to cancer three months ago. Police have no idea who did it. You do have to wonder if the parking lot had speed bumps then this might not have happened. You can find speed bumps for sale at Seton.co.uk so it would have been pretty easy for the mall to buy some and have them fitted. They would certainly help with traffic control and I can’t help but think this car wouldn’t have been able to drive into this woman with any real speed if they had been there.

In most cases like this, the police ask the surviving family members to talk to us so we can put the story on TV and help with the investigation. In this case, the victim’s relatives are from Boston and Atlanta. Now, I can’t say much about Boston media. Never been there. I know Atlanta TV is run and gun stuff (that is to say, they work fast and hard there). Regardless, the family has a conception about the media that we’re all vultures and aren’t out to help them at all. I’m talking with them tomorrow and I hope I prove them wrong.

One last note about the Illness at Mt. Willis. My wife…who hasn’t eaten pork or beef since she went to some Communist Training Camp in Upstate New York ten years ago (my apolgies to any Communist readers)…has decided that she is swearing off chicken for now. That means, Chef Willis can now only cook fish and tofu. Looks like we’re going to be ordering a lot of veggie pizza in the coming weeks. I think I’m going to have to make an appeal…Blame me…don’t blame the chicken. The chicken didn’t know what it was doing. It had been frozen in a state of suspended animation for weeks. How was it supposed to know? Poor chicken…poor scapegoat.

By the way, anyone know how to filet a scapegoat?

Brad Willis

Brad Willis is a writer based in Greenville, South Carolina. Willis spent a decade as an award-winning broadcast journalist. He has worked as a freelance writer, columnist, and professional blogger since 2005. He has also served as a commentator and guest on a wide variety of television, radio, and internet shows.

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