Shut up, shut up, shut up
A quick confession before we begin…I am a sucker for talk radio. It’s a rabid conservative in the morning, a Libertarian in the afternoon, and a smart left coaster in the evening. I don’t even really like the stuff (with the exception of a few guests on the Hugh Hewitt show). But I listen and I can’t help it.
I stop at a dirty little convenience store on many mornings before work. I need some caffeine and a Grandma’s Oatmeal Raisin cookie. The morning clerk listens to the same show. And I’m growing to hate her.
I’ve almost made myself late to work by avoiding the check-out counter. I dawdle at the drink cooler. I peruse the cookie rack. I know I will be forced into the world of Conservative Parrot woman.
It goes a little like this…
CONSERVATIVE TALK SHOW HOST: “Taxes are bad.”
CONSERVATIVE PARROT WOMAN: “I think taxes are bad.”
CTSH: “We should all pay for what we use and no more.”
CPW: “I think we should all pay for what use. And you know what? No more than that.”
CTSH: “I am a heterosexual male.”
CPW: “I am a heterosexual male…or I’d really like to be.”
The woman does not maintain one shred of orgininal thought and she feels like I think she is smarter if she can recite what she has just learned while I pay her for my morning snack. And I find that scary. I listen to CTSH because it gives me insight into that way of thinking. She listens to form her agenda. If it weren’t for talk radio, she wouldn’t know what to think. It generally makes me so sick that I turn on a classic rock station when I return to the parking lot and groove on some Aerosmith. . If I don’t, I feel like she is with me in the car.
We all have to learn somewhere. I listen attentively when my friends talk about sports. I know some stuff, but not nearly as much as they do and I learn by listening to them. If I feel like they are full of it, I stop listening.
People should just stop talking every once in a while. If this woman doesn’t shut up soon, I’m going to turn her radio station over to Rock 101. At least when I go in for my morning snack, I’ll only have to listen to her mumble, “WALK THIS WAY! TALK THIS WAY!”
