One Year
When I graduated from high school I had but one spoken aspiration…I would be a G-Man, an FBI agent specializing in behavioral psychology. I would study the minds of the most twisted of individuals. I would know evil.
That may have been the last life plan I ever spoke out loud.
Somewhere in the middle of a college malaise, my potential for government work faded. Plans, though they seemed still necessary, were elusive. And a fairly regular stream of unplanned successes–no matter how minor–convinced me that an unplanned life may be the happiest.
I had many plans for tonight. I would pay the bills. I would work on some fantasy football draft material. And would finish a massive re-design of Rapid Eye Reality.
Why?
As of 12:21am on August 29th, RER is one year old. Three hundred sixty-five days ago (almost to the hour) I scribbled out my first post on this blog. The initial idea was to transcribe the images of the previous night’s dream in the morning, followed by whatever reality I experienced during that day. It sounded catchy. That idea–that plan–didn’t last very long.
But something else happened. I found myself writing quite a bit. Sometimes more than once a day. And something else–quite strange–happened as well. People were reading. It started off with a few folks from the blogging community. My wife joined them as soon as I let her in on the secret. She let the secret slip to a few folks (remind me to thank her for that later). Then others found out. Now, people I don’t even know count themselves as readers (among my favorite new folks is a saucy gal from the West Coast who uses the word “fuck” a lot when she writes and some girl from Canada who has remained fairly quiet since she started reading).
But, that massive re-design didn’t happen tonight. While I had planned on a grand opening that you all might see when you wake up in the morning, plans changed. A friend needed a friend tonight and I abandoned all the plans. The bills will get paid tomorrow. Fantasy football draft material will be worked out before Saturday. The re-design…maybe in the next week or so.
While out with my buddy, the idea of plans came up again. What am I going to do with my life? It took a few beers, but I let him in on a few ideas (you’ll likely hear of them later). But our conversation reminded me of another plan.
Just about a year ago I told myself that if I were to start this blog, it had to be for a reason. I decided the reason would be this: Write as often as you can for a year…just to see if you can do it. It doesn’t matter if the writing is good or it sucks. Just write. It is your journal and it doesn’t matter if anyone reads it. Write to write.
As it turns out, some people actually do read. And as it turns out, it does actually matter to me if people read. I love comments. I love to hear people talk about what I write. The only thing I love more…is the actual writing.
Which brings me to now…what is the plan now? I have written for a year. I can do it. So what now?
Well, as I have said many times over the last year…I dunno. But, I have some plans. Thing is, I have about four plans and they all seem like nice ideas. So, maybe I’ll just write here for another year. Again…I dunno.
But, the hour grows a tad late and the beers of therapy I shared with my buddy are making my eye lashes a bit heavy.
Before I bed down though…a few thank yous to the people who unknowingly helped me complete this one-year goal (and if this sounds like an Emmy speech to you, go suck an egg, because I really do appreciate these people):
Susannah…the girl who got me started on this thing.
Chelle…who believes much more than I do.
Ronnnie…one who relates on a scary level of similarity.
And each of those people (that pretty much constitutes the rest if you regular reading folks) who have stroked my ego over the past year with your compliments…perhaps especially to the one who may some day kiss my wife.
Now…on to another year.
