Don’t call me a Boy Scout

I don’t believe the weather-guessers. I don’t really believe that I will face winter apocalypse in the morning. I don’t really believe that I’m going to have to spend any time without power or internet service. I don’t believe I’m going to have to move my young son and old dog into a hotel room or beg friends with electricity to sleep in their guest rooms. I don’t believe I’m going to have to roll around in sleepless fits while giant sweetgum limbs fall on my house and explode into a dozen pieces. I don’t believe I’m going to have to spend eight days in a suburban Starbucks just so that I can get my work done. I don’t beieve I need a week’s worth of fresh water and canned food. I don’t believe I need fire logs, batteries, and propane.

Of course, I didn’t believe any of these things in December of 2005. And, well, yeah, all of the above turned out to be an issue.

So, today we bought everything we needed and prepared ourselves to deal with the first winter storm of the season. [Note to weather people: The phrase ‘wintery mix’ sounds like something I would snack on at a Christmas party. Why don’t you call it what it really is? Otis-Screwing Hell Storm Carolina.] By preparing, I’m sure this will make sure the weather turns out to be a little damp and unfrozen.

Which would be just the fuck fine with me.

If I can still use this power outlet and internet connection at thiss time tomorrow night, I’ll be one happy Otis. And if you don’t see me here by Friday, you know that I’ve given up and moved to some mudslide or hurricane-prone area.

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Brad Willis

Brad Willis is a writer based in Greenville, South Carolina. Willis spent a decade as an award-winning broadcast journalist. He has worked as a freelance writer, columnist, and professional blogger since 2005. He has also served as a commentator and guest on a wide variety of television, radio, and internet shows.

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3 Responses

  1. Anonymous Anonymous says:

    What, have you forgotten what the wintery storms were like back in MO. Come on man grow a pair, tink, tink.-fb

  2. Good old Anonymous nailed it. Damn, that guy gets around.

    Welcome back to the real world:
    http://www.wunderground.com/cgi-bin/findweather/getForecast?query=46368

  3. Anonymous Su says:

    Yeah- what frankie said. I on the other hand am still looking at the same snow that we got on Dec.20th plus the addional stuff we’ve had the last 8 weeks. And it’s snowing again! I hate winter!