How I spent my summer “vacation”
“Oh, it must be so exciting!”
That’s what people say when I tell them I have spent the majority of the past four summers in Las Vegas.
“You must have so much fun!”
That’s what people say after I’ve told them it’s for work.
“Well, it’s better than sitting in a cube.”
Well, probably. I can’t argue that.
Thing is, when I get home, I rarely remember if it was any fun or not.
This summer, I reminded myself to pull out my Blackberry at irregular intervals to help me remember what I did. I went back and reviewed the pictures. I still don’t know. You tell me.
That was my view for about 95% of the time I was in Las Vegas. That’s from the front row of the press box, looking out over a cess pool of gambling humanity. Every one of those people put up $10,000 to play for millions. Six hundred sixty-six out of 6,844 people at least doubled their money. Only eight of them will make more than $1 million.
That’s two barely dressed women suspended above a pool of gamblers at Rain nightclub at the Palms Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. My client held a massive open-bar party there. Dita Von Teese, the modern-day queen of burlesque, performed later that night and splashed around in a big glass of water. These women were more impressive and could’ve died if they fell—either from impact or social disease.
I ventured into the bathroom once at that party and saw this sign on the wall. I’m a pretty worldly guy and have seen a lot go on in bathrooms, but I’ve never seen a sign prohibiting it. I wondered when I left who would actually enforce the rule.
That’s what a halfway decent night looks like. It’s not the biggest night I had (think: double), but it’s the one that moved me to take a picture. There are few inanimate objects that get me all riled up. Multiple racks, however, make me rowdy.
My buddy Badblood took us to see a parody band called Steel Panther. Normally I like my music pure, acoustic, and fun. This music was a perfect, loud, bastardization of everything you heard in the 1980s. Of the few fun nights I had on this trip, the few hours I spent rolling with the boys that night was the most fun.
And that, Mom, is how I spent my summer “vacation.”