We haven’t done a Friday Mental Massage in some time, so let’s pound one out–primarily because I’m in desperate need of a real massage.
I tweaked something in my neck/back six days ago. On a couple of days, I could barley move. Now, it’s a minor annoyance that is worse when I wake up in the morning. The only horrible thing about this is that is makes me feel very, very old.
Our ancient water heater finally gave up the ghost this week. As I type, a guy and his wife(?) are installing a new one in my garage. Yes, I could’ve done it myself, but Daddy always said to do everything at my house for myself except for plumbing and electric work. This heater is gas powered, but I think I’ll listen to Dad anyway.
My Greenville, SC plumber wanted to charge me nearly $1,300 for a 50-gallon water heater with a 6-year warranty, including installation of course. He also gave me the option of one for more than $2,000. I mean, come on. I was sure I could get one cheaper, even if I had to go to the big box.
I went to the big box. I found the heater I wanted. I asked a member of the staff who I should talk to about getting it installed. He said, “Just pick up that black phone or go to the service desk.” Now, I like buying things online, but when it comes to spending hundreds of dollars on a thing that could maybe blow up my house, I prefer to talk to someone face to face. So, I went to the service desk. “Who do I speak to about getting a water heater installed?” I asked. “Oh, you just pick up this phone,” the lady said. Who knew? Two phones! So, I got on the phone and ordered my heater and installation from some guy I never saw. I ended up getting a better water heater with a longer warranty for several hundred dollars less.
I fell prey to another Facebook meme. Lord help me, this one involved my iPod, so I couldn’t turn it down. The idea was one of those “shuffle your iPod and apply each song to the next number” memes. Time-waster to the nth degree. Regardless, the songs that came up, with a couple of exceptions, would make for a pretty cool and relevant soundtrack (and I didn’t cheat once!)
1. Opening credits: Wild Western Windblown Band – Reckless Kelly
Oh, Captain is a pretty smart guy, but sometimes he will make a bold assertion that needs some calling out. For instance, this morning on Twitter he said, “Aldo Nova – Fantasy. Probably the greatest one hit wonder of all time not to become nauseatily annoying.”
2. Waking Up: Nice Work if You Can Get It – Billie Holiday
3. First Day of School: Dear Prudence – The Beatles
4. Fight Song: Arnie – Robbie Schaefer live at the Handlebar
5. Falling in love: Little Green Bag – George Baker
6. Losing A Loved One: The Devil’s Right Hand – Steve Earle
7. Prom: Raise the Roof – Widespred Panic
8. Graduation: Boogie Music – Canned Heat
9. Summer: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band – The Beatles
10. College: Windfall – Son Volt
11. Heartbreak: Helter Skelter- The Beatles
12. Life: Diane – Robert Randolph and the Family Band
13. Mental breakdown(s): Too Fast For Love – Motley Crue
14. Driving down open road: Chickamauga – Uncle Tupelo
15. Flashback: Forks and Knives- Hoots and Hellmouth
16. Wedding: Slip Slidin’ Away – Simon and Garfunkel
17. Birth of child: Big Trouble – Man Man
18. Final battle: Christine’s Tune – The Flying Burrito Brothers
19. Death scene: Looking for a Way Out – Uncle Tupelo
20. Funeral: Get Up – James Brown
21. Ending Credits: Space Jam – Jerry Garcia, David Grisman
Oh, sir. I beg to differ. Using One Hit Wonder Central, I looked at the lists between 1960 and 1990 (anything before is too cute, and anything after is almost certainly annoying). While I don’t think it’s fair to call all of the songs one hit wonders, they were on the list and are certainly less annoying the Aldo Nova’s Fanstasy. I picked out five.
Top 5 One Hit Wonders That Are Less Annoying Than Aldo Nova’s Fantasy
1. Black Betty – Ram Jam
2. I Want Candy — Bow Wow Wow
3. Chevy Van — Sammmy Johns
4. Mexican Radio — Wall of Voodoo
5. One Toke Over the Line — Brewer and Shipley
I almost included Funkytown by Lipps, Inc., but on further review, the song is, in fact, annoying. Also, the web list included the following songs which are certainly less annoying, but I take issue with them being declared one hit wonders.
All Right Now — Free
What started as a friend stopping into Greenville on his way to Florida has morphed into something…bigger. Next weekend has been declared Mastodon Weekend–four days of fairly spontaneous bacchanalia that already scares me a little bit. I’m out of training for this kind of thing. Why Mastodon? As G-Rob said, they were lumbering, oafish creatures who didn’t evolve and thus are now extinct. That pretty much sums us up.
The Boys Are Back In Town — Thin Lizzy
Mississippi Queen — Mountain
In the meantime, I have a lot of work to do and a masseuse to find.