Friday Mental Massage: The hits keep on coming edition

We haven’t done a Friday Mental Massage in some time, so let’s pound one out–primarily because I’m in desperate need of a real massage.

  • I tweaked something in my neck/back six days ago. On a couple of days, I could barley move. Now, it’s a minor annoyance that is worse when I wake up in the morning. The only horrible thing about this is that is makes me feel very, very old.
  • Our ancient water heater finally gave up the ghost this week. As I type, a guy and his wife(?) are installing a new one in my garage. Yes, I could’ve done it myself, but Daddy always said to do everything at my house for myself except for plumbing and electric work. This heater is gas powered, but I think I’ll listen to Dad anyway.
  • My Greenville, SC plumber wanted to charge me nearly $1,300 for a 50-gallon water heater with a 6-year warranty, including installation of course. He also gave me the option of one for more than $2,000. I mean, come on. I was sure I could get one cheaper, even if I had to go to the big box.
  • I went to the big box. I found the heater I wanted. I asked a member of the staff who I should talk to about getting it installed. He said, “Just pick up that black phone or go to the service desk.” Now, I like buying things online, but when it comes to spending hundreds of dollars on a thing that could maybe blow up my house, I prefer to talk to someone face to face. So, I went to the service desk. “Who do I speak to about getting a water heater installed?” I asked. “Oh, you just pick up this phone,” the lady said. Who knew? Two phones! So, I got on the phone and ordered my heater and installation from some guy I never saw. I ended up getting a better water heater with a longer warranty for several hundred dollars less.
  • I fell prey to another Facebook meme. Lord help me, this one involved my iPod, so I couldn’t turn it down. The idea was one of those “shuffle your iPod and apply each song to the next number” memes. Time-waster to the nth degree. Regardless, the songs that came up, with a couple of exceptions, would make for a pretty cool and relevant soundtrack (and I didn’t cheat once!)

    1. Opening credits: Wild Western Windblown Band – Reckless Kelly
    2. Waking Up: Nice Work if You Can Get It – Billie Holiday
    3. First Day of School: Dear Prudence – The Beatles
    4. Fight Song: Arnie – Robbie Schaefer live at the Handlebar
    5. Falling in love: Little Green Bag – George Baker
    6. Losing A Loved One: The Devil’s Right Hand – Steve Earle
    7. Prom: Raise the Roof – Widespred Panic
    8. Graduation: Boogie Music – Canned Heat
    9. Summer: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band – The Beatles
    10. College: Windfall – Son Volt
    11. Heartbreak: Helter Skelter- The Beatles
    12. Life: Diane – Robert Randolph and the Family Band
    13. Mental breakdown(s): Too Fast For Love – Motley Crue
    14. Driving down open road: Chickamauga – Uncle Tupelo
    15. Flashback: Forks and Knives- Hoots and Hellmouth
    16. Wedding: Slip Slidin’ Away – Simon and Garfunkel
    17. Birth of child: Big Trouble – Man Man
    18. Final battle: Christine’s Tune – The Flying Burrito Brothers
    19. Death scene: Looking for a Way Out – Uncle Tupelo
    20. Funeral: Get Up – James Brown
    21. Ending Credits: Space Jam – Jerry Garcia, David Grisman

  • Oh, Captain is a pretty smart guy, but sometimes he will make a bold assertion that needs some calling out. For instance, this morning on Twitter he said, “Aldo Nova – Fantasy. Probably the greatest one hit wonder of all time not to become nauseatily annoying.”

    Oh, sir. I beg to differ. Using One Hit Wonder Central, I looked at the lists between 1960 and 1990 (anything before is too cute, and anything after is almost certainly annoying). While I don’t think it’s fair to call all of the songs one hit wonders, they were on the list and are certainly less annoying the Aldo Nova’s Fanstasy. I picked out five.

    Top 5 One Hit Wonders That Are Less Annoying Than Aldo Nova’s Fantasy

    1. Black Betty – Ram Jam
    2. I Want Candy — Bow Wow Wow
    3. Chevy Van — Sammmy Johns
    4. Mexican Radio — Wall of Voodoo
    5. One Toke Over the Line — Brewer and Shipley

    I almost included Funkytown by Lipps, Inc., but on further review, the song is, in fact, annoying. Also, the web list included the following songs which are certainly less annoying, but I take issue with them being declared one hit wonders.

    All Right Now — Free
    The Boys Are Back In Town — Thin Lizzy
    Mississippi Queen — Mountain

  • What started as a friend stopping into Greenville on his way to Florida has morphed into something…bigger. Next weekend has been declared Mastodon Weekend–four days of fairly spontaneous bacchanalia that already scares me a little bit. I’m out of training for this kind of thing. Why Mastodon? As G-Rob said, they were lumbering, oafish creatures who didn’t evolve and thus are now extinct. That pretty much sums us up.

    In the meantime, I have a lot of work to do and a masseuse to find.