It’s not for my nipples

Brad Willis

Brad Willis is a writer based in Greenville, South Carolina. Willis spent a decade as an award-winning broadcast journalist. He has worked as a freelance writer, columnist, and professional blogger since 2005. He has also served as a commentator and guest on a wide variety of television, radio, and internet shows.

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16 Responses

  1. Jim The Knife says:

    One of your best posts ever. Still smiling.
    Nice to see you Saturday. I had a hell of a night.

  2. Pauly says:

    Nipple Cream in a dried form and smoked (much like chasing the dragon – on tin foil with a lighter) can create euphoric affects.

  3. Bam-Bam says:

    Any truth to the rumour that your next bit will delve deep into the Male mind, to find what spark it is that causes us to open our mouths at times like that?

    🙂

  4. Su says:

    This post made me laugh :)Thanks!

  5. Heather says:

    I was hoping there would be a “nipple” post in your future. For me, I enjoyed buying my son “butt cream”.
    Sweet

  6. Stephanie says:

    Brad you’re a hoot.

  7. Da Goddess says:

    just wait until I whip out my nipples again. I mean, my nipple post. Nah, never mind.

    You’re a good man, Charlie Brown. Your wife is lucky to have you. I used to have to bribe the ex to go get me anything having to do with womanly stuff. “I’ll clean up after the dog (it’snotlikeyoudoitanyway) and mow the low (notthatyou’vedonethateithersincewe’vemovedinhere) and I’ll make spanikopita for dinner (buysomefromchurchandreheatit) if you’ll go to the store and pick up some pads and a new flange for the breast pump”…he’d be walking down the hall grumbling and swearing and stomping his feet. Once, when his mom was over and she caught him doing that? She went over and kicked him. Told him to grow up. Obviously your mother doesn’t have to do that.

  8. Da Goddess says:

    mow the low = mow the lawn in Ambienese

  9. Average White Boy says:

    Personally, buying the dirty mag from a mumued gramma is part of the turn-on. “You like that, Grammie? Yeah… yeah you do, you dirty girl…”

  10. Drizztdj says:

    Have you tried topping a Sex on the Beach drink with it? Simply orgasmic results.

    I’ll hide the rest of my bad puns under the bed with my 10 year old Swank mag.

  11. Notme says:

    Once while on a trip in the wilds of Morocco I was convinced to walk several miles to the nearest “drug store” and buy yeast infection medication.

    Speaking neither Arabic nor French I resorted to a series of hand gestures that had the man flummoxed, but which the women eventually understood when I recalled that ordering a pizza with mushrooms included the word champignon. Mushrooms, yeast, they are both fungus. Somehow she figured it out.

    If I could have said “It’s not for me”, I would have.

  12. The Wife says:

    I am SOOOOO glad we’re past the nipple cream stage . . .

  13. whiskeytown says:

    Had a friend who used to work at a pharmacy – one time this attractive professional woman bought some condoms for him to ring up but they were mispriced, so they rang up as $100 bucks.

    She looks at it and goes – “That better be one hell of a f%$& for $100”

    probably the first time a cashier got embarassed by condom purchase – LOL

  14. mical john says:

    Very nice information. Thanks for this.
    Regards,
    Jane

  1. June 7, 2009

    […] It not for my nipples Rapid Eye Reality Posted by root 2 hours 28 minutes ago (http://www.rapideyereality.com) I mean 40 for a container of cream the size of a film cannister i ride personal watercraft powered by fossil fuels and i do it so fast i might lose my one of your best posts ever still smiling nice to see you saturday leave a comment name required mail wi Discuss  |  Bury |  News | It not for my nipples Rapid Eye Reality […]

  2. December 29, 2009

    […] my second son It’s not for my nipples My phirst time On […]

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