Monthly Archive: August 2009

Mark Sanford boned me

Barbecue makes me hot, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Whether the sauce is based in ketchup, mustard, or vinegar, it might as well be Spanish Fly shaken with raw oyster liquor. I...

Interrogate this

“Really!?!? We’re investigating whether the CIA told the 9/11 mastermind they were going to kill his kids? Liberals are wimps.” –Twitter post of my most conservative friend (who can out himself in the comments...

Vasectomy in pictures

When I go to foreign countries in which I don’t speak the language, I often depend on contextual clues to make sure I don’t end up in an uncomfortable situation. For instance, in Argentina...

An open letter to Brett Favre

Dear Brett, It’s that last drive of the 2008 season, isn’t it? You can’t get it out of your head. You made your triumphant return in a city that didn’t understand you, showed them...

Baby steps

I took this picture on our last day in Hilton Head. I spent several days trying to think about what it represented (other than a goat in a window, of course). I solicited captions...

Stay

I remember being young, too young to really want for anything, young enough that the smell of cut grass and lawn mower exhaust was just a smell and not something nostalgic and gone, young...

Snip

The Boy was going for a haircut. Pre-vacation, a couple weeks before school starts, a haircut is like putting on war paint. With school supply swords and a good high and tight trim, a...

My younger woman

She ran from me for nine months and realized I probably wasn’t going away. That was around this time 13 years ago. Since then I’m fairly certain the woman who became wife has kept...

Spend local

I have a theory about people who eat at Olive Garden and think it’s Italian food. I believe they are the same people who get a hickey and think they’ve received oral sex. The...