Hookers and johns of suburbia

Hookers and johns of suburbia

It was a late-December South Carolina cold, the kind that looks warm from a Minnesota window but sneaks up on you when you leave the…

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On pretense and population

On pretense and population

The reason it’s so easy to remember that people largely suck and are more often than not idiots is because there are so many of…

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Why I'm angry at Mark Sanford

Why I’m angry at Mark Sanford

Like the stages of grief associated with the death of a loved one, I’ve gone through several levels of discombobulation with South Carolina Governor Mark…

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Mark Sanford boned me

Mark Sanford boned me

Barbecue makes me hot, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Whether the sauce is based in ketchup, mustard, or vinegar, it might as well…

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It's not for my nipples

It’s not for my nipples

“Call me when you leave the gym,” my wife said. “I’m not sure if I’m going to have time to pick up my prescription.” I…

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When you gonna put the paint on my belly?

When you gonna put the paint on my belly?

Katie looked at me and pulled out her tools. I looked back and remembered I hadn’t worn my wedding ring. I felt guilty as the…

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Double dipping, as explained by Joe Henfield

Double dipping, as explained by Joe Henfield

(Paradise Island, Bahamas) — You have to imagine the thick Bahamian accent and a guy who looks a little like Jim Brown. That’s Joe Henfield,…

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