Los Angeles Douchebagicus
Los Angeles Douchebagicus is a member of the Douchebagicus family and is most widespread in the American West. A domesticated ancestor of the wild French Douchebag, the L.A. Douchebag (as it is commonly known) survives mainly on a diet of cocaine, energy drinks, and self-synthesized “sweat of the entitled.”
Unable to survive outside of its own packs, the L.A. Douchebag tends to travel in groups of three or four, walk with an affected and often replicated swagger, and dress exactly the same as his fellow L.A. Douchebags. While able to communicate outside its species, the L.A. Douchebag prefers to speak in phrases it has seen on television or on TMZ.com.
Unlike most animals that split their time between mating and foraging for food, the L.A. Douchebag is solely focused on mating and eschews all foodstuffs in favor of hunting for silicone-enhanced females. A paradox within its species, the L.A. Douchebag goes out of its way to avoid actual procreation, leading many scientists to believe the L.A. Douchebag is midway through its evolution to a fully homosexual animal.
While the L.A. Douchebag is not limited by geography, it tends to stay in the greater Los Angeles, CA area during the week. On Friday and Saturday nights, many small packs migrate to Las Vegas where they can be found at the Palms Hotel and Casino in their full splendor.
[For the female version of the L.A. Douchebag, see Slutae Withnoselfrespecticus.]