The Bowler and The Eyewitness

Karrie’s Kafe has about the best chicken salad in Upstate South Carolina. Karrie’s is about two miles from where I work. My travel time between the greatest chicken salad and my desk and back…about five total minutes.

In that time I counted 18 different white vans.

As the Washington D.C. area hides its children, covers its head, and cancels Homecoming Friday night football games, one thing stands out…or perhaps, doesn’t stand out.

The White Van.

This is day nine of the serial sniper shootings and the best description investigators are providing publicly is a white van. This begs two theories from a wanna-be investigator who has done no more for law enforcement than receive poorly formed insults from criminals.

Theory #1–The Eyewitness

One man sees a white van at the scene of the first shooting. The media and investigators broadcast the white van description. Now, everybody sees a white van. Look at the roads from the sky cams along I-95…count the white vans. Theory #1 goes like this…the shooter isn’t in a white van and is working freely in a Honda Civic, Mitsubishi Eclipse, or Volkswagon Bug.

Theory #2–The Bowler

In the “Thomas Crown Affair” a savvy thief makes his way into a museum and does his dirty work right under the watchful eye of police who know exactly what he looks like. He does it by flooding the museum with men who wear the exact same bowler hat as he wore.

Theory #2 is even more scary, because it means the sniper is smarter and more diabolical than first thought. He drives a white van because the vehicle blends in better than any vehicle on the road. Every delivery van, soccer mom car pool machine, and cable guy masks his deadly work.

National, sensational news usually bores and disgusts me.

This killer fascinates me. And I can’t wait to see him go down.