Waiting for the phone to ring

…is about 60% of my job. I call people. They’re doing something else. I wait for them to call me back. That’s what I’m doing right now. Three hundred people have lost their jobs in the technology/communications sector. I’m reporting the story and trying to provide some context. My contextual people are finding more context in their power lunches than my story. So, I’m waiting for the phone to ring.

Speaking of power lunches…I am a remorseless eating machine. I shattered my personal California roll eating record today. Thirty, soaked lovingly in wasabi, in my tummy right now. I don’t feel so well. However, I am still nimble afoot. It is Friday after all.

I have a full weekend planned. Tonight…dinner with the wife, poker with the gamblers. Tomorrow…maybe some Christmas shopping, a haircut, maybe some frolf. Somebody remind me I need to clean my garage, too.

Something very scary is happening to me. I’m going gray.

My birthday is next Tuesday. I’m not getting that old, but I’m starting to note gray streaks around my temples. I’ve considered a number of solutions…buzz cuts, a fashionable chapeau, wearing poultry on my head. None of those solutions will allow me to keep my day job, however. I think my boss would frown on me wearing a duck on my head during a breaking news live shot…”over here you can see where the car went through the front of Bed, Bath,and Beyond. And by the way, Quackers says howdy. And what’s that Quackers? Oh yes…AFLACK!”

Speaking of my boss and frowning…I have been reprimanded for my Dispatches from Mt. Honesty. Apparently the higher-ups in the company don’t take well to me sending company-wide e-mails accusing scotch tape thieves of being the “type of person who would take their mother to an all-you-can-drink biker bar, filling her up on the juice, then putting her on a tractor in the middle of a hilly hayfield and waiting to see what happens next.” Mr Honesty…censored.

So, you folks…the fine readers of RER will get the brunt of my rants from now on.

Also…don’t forget the new comments section directly below the posts.

The phone still isn’t ringing. I’m going to look for Quackers. I think he’s buying some low cost insurance…or maybe a washcloth and some bath beads at Bed Bath and Beyond.