Notice: Women Welcome

Trace yourself along the gently sloping curves, the rises and falls, soft in places and hard in others. Slip into a place so serene and respected that it seems almost dirty to associate it with such scandal.

Those slopes, curves, rises and falls are hard ashphalt roads and dirty, gravel short cuts that lead south from anywhere, through the back-counties of South Carolina and eventually into a place called Augusta…not the home of golf, but a Spring cottage of respite where perhaps the most important thing in the game ever happens.

I am not a golfer. Never had the patience for it. Nevertheless, I love the nuance, the science, the respectiblity of the game. Which is why I’m disturbed by the recent goings-on at Augusta National. In essence, this is the message: No penis, no putting. Or, to be more accurate, no member, no membership card.

Rather than bow to liberal womens’ groups and start allowing women as members, the Augusta National Golf Club has canceled all its sponsorships and will underwrite coverage of next year’s Master’s Tournament on its own. The idea is to let its sponsors (IBM, CitiGroup, etc) off the hook. No need to get their hands messy with all this “Women don’t belong here” stuff.

Of course, perhaps I’m not one to talk. I like to take part in all-male events, including an upcoming trip to Vegas sponsored by the HeMan Woman Haters Club. Further, I’m not a big fan of women’s sports. I enjoy watching female soccer players rip off their jersey after a game-winning goal and I like watching the tennis players sweat all over the clay, but give me an hour to watch sports and you see me intently staring at fat men in too-tight pants.

Nevertheless, I’m not sure where it would hurt to allow women to become members at one of America’s greateast golf clubs. Women golf. Many of them play much better than a lot of men I know.

Maybe it is a “Boy’s Club” thing. I can understand the concept in a tree house or in the back room at the Elk’s Lodge. Men DO need time away from women. No doubt about that. But when your club becomes a national sporting institution and you’re no longer just banning women from a night of beer drinking and card games, it may be time to let women hold your putter.

I don’t know if this makes me a sensitive man…or a man of poor rationale. All I know is that women are welcome here at RER. In fact, ladies, bring a friend.