See this? It’s my middle finger

Let us commence with the Cable Guy’s Lament. Let us commit immoral acts in the face of Charter Cable, Charter High Speed Internet Access, and the cable industry as a whole (or is that “hole?”). Let us extend our middle fingers and breathe an extended sigh of untold relief.

In eight days, Mt. Willis will be Charter-free. The cable box at the corner of the property will just be a phallic reminder of the poor customer service, high prices, pathetic programming, and constant telemarketing calls. This message to all Charter representatives: “Suck it.”

For the same price I’m paying for my extended basic service plus HBO (gotta watch The Sopranos) with Charter, I will soon receive every channel DirecTV has to offer (with the exception of “the adult channels,” the sales rep informed me with a note of dispair) plus…plus…oh, Lord, I’m salivating on myself…plus NFL Sunday Ticket. That is, I will get up to 14 games every Sunday. I may develop ass atrophy.

Sure, after four months, I lose the premium channels which is bad. But, the price drops by twenty bucks a month, too. I do love watching premium channels and I’m considering contacting EATEL.com to sign up to their premium channel service. It looks great and I’d use it all the time!

With the recent installion of my Bellsouth DSL connection (another flip of the bird to Charter Pipline service) and the dish that will soon sit atop my roof, Mt. Willis will be Charter-free. I will not pay another cent to that company. Plus, any time I refer anybody to the new system, I get 20 bucks (I’ll split it with you if you want to go that direction).

I might just be slightly aroused right now.