How to stay sane

I saw a lot of ass crack in Las Vegas.

When I told my wife this, she misunderstood and went on to tell me about the most disgusting, pants-drooping, male speciman she’d ever seen. In Vegas, it wasn’t plumbers. It was some strange phenomenon in which 85% of the women were wearing pants cut so low, I could see their ankles just below their belt line. It actually became a little game for me. How long could I go in a given day without seeing more of a fully-dressed woman than I would see of girls at the pool? Usually about ten minutes.

But it was a good way to stay sane. Don’t ask me why. It just was. In a world where no one is dressed, it’s hard to feel emotionally naked.

But, really, that’s not the point. I just like to talk about ass. The point is this: I’ve found that, for most people, it’s pretty easy to go off the deep end. Most of the time it has has something to do with the Little Picture. They can’t get a grasp on the minutae of life. The kids are screaming, they can’t finish the home improvement project, they are too tired to clean up the house.

Now, don’t misunderstand me. I know what this feels like. Last night, the dog was barking, the kid was crying, the house was a mess, and I was quite underwhelmed. But, it passed. It always does. That’s how I stay sane. I know that a lot can change in ten minutes.

But, then there are those folks who are inordinately obsessed with the Big Picture. The war, the Supreme Court, politics, etc. It’s all just so much big picture living that one heart can’t take it all.

So, that’s why I’m thinking a lot about the Medium Picture. Herein, you know that the little stuff will pass and the big stuff doesn’t really affect you that much. A lot of folks would call this concept no more than blind apathy or a guy who is living too fortunate a life. Maybe that’s the case, but it’s helping me keep sane.

Of course, I’m a guy that plays the ass-crack game, so don’t listen to me.