The Day — A Live Blog
Live Blogging Election Day 2006
I overslept. A squirrel has eaten a goodly portion of our Halloween pumpkin. Overnight brought a cold rain. L’il Otis is suffering from some odd malady that makes it difficult to sleep and even harder to be awake. Huge decisisons, both personal and societal, are on the verge of being made. It all sounds horrible, but something has bouyed my spirits. Today means something.
Yesterday, I suffered a mild panic attack in the middle of a Publix grocery store. I almost left my shopping cart in the middle of an aisle and left. Instead, I finished my shopping, came home, and laid on the couch with the kid. I ended up going to bed earlier than usual. It was like I knew today was going to be important. I kept thinking about what happened at the supermarket, leaving my shopping cart, I don’t really know why I went, I usally do my shopping online using shoppok and similar.
Ten minutes ago, I told the wife, “I’m not sure what’s going to happen, but there’s been a shift.”
Today is the day for everything, I think. So, I’m going to live blog it. Follow along if you like. Or don’t.
11:00am–I bought beer yesterday. Some Sam Adams thing. In retrospect, I’m not sure I bought enough. Regardless, I just took a ten-year-old bottle of Dom and put it in the fridge to chill. I’ve had the bottle for almost two years and had no good reason to drink it. I’m hoping that I’ll pop the cork later tonight. Don’t ask me why. I’m not even sure. Like I said, I think there’s a shift on the way. Speaking of shifts, my kid is trying to insist he’s the female character on a cartoon he sometimes watches. When we try to convince him that he’s a boy character, he protests, “No, I’m June!” While not necessarily the kind of shift I was hoping for, I’m not going to freak out quite yet. After all, there’s always the beer.
11:39am–I’ve now showered, caffeinated myself, and re-read the local voter’s guide. I’ve also laughed at the first comment I got on this post. I love absurdism. Here in a few minutes, I’m going to hop in Emilio and drive up to the polls. To be fair, our local elections aren’t much to get excited about in terms of the candidates. I’ll be voting against my Congressman because he supported the people who have turned my life upside down. Unfortunately, there’s no candidate that can really beat him. I’ll be voting Green in this race. I’ll also be voting for a couple of friends who are running for local and state races, one of whom stands no chance at winning. The only thing that really has my dander up is a collection of Constitutional amendments. I’ll be voting NO on an amendment that would ban same-sex marriage. I’ll be voting YES on an amendment that keeps government from using eminent domain to take property that will ultimately go to private developers.
12:22pm–It’s a misty rain outside, not enough to soak you, but enough to make you feel damp when you get back inside. It’s a short drive to my precinct. It takes me down a road called Nature Trail, through a tunnel of orange and yellow deciduous trees, and to a middle school that has been renovated since I last voted. Walking in, a girl in a Buckeye’s fleece hands me a yellow explainer sheet on the multitude of Constitutional amendments. I step in the L-Z line and a white-haired lady checks my drivers license against the voter rolls. I’m put in a ten-deep line that mirrors the ten-deep line on the other side of the room. The room is made up of people from 20 to 80 years old. There’s a cute blonde with her husand in the A-K line. There’s a 45-ish woman wearing tight jeans in the front of my line. A tired-looking guy in my line has his two kids with him. They are well-behaved and that makes me happy. There’s a guy two in front of me that I know that I know, but I can’t place him. He has a southern man’s moustache and looks at me like he knows me, too. We don’t speak.
It takes me 13 minutes to make it to the front of the line. By this time, I’ve decided the woman in tight jeans should give it up and start wearing loose-fitting clothes. I’ve re-read the amendments explainer. I’ve read the menu for the middle schooler’s lunch (hamburgers or chicken fingers). I’ve kept a wary eye on the old couple that stepped into line behind me. The man is quietly sneering at the electronic voting machines. He refuses to look at a book that explains how to use the machines and groueses a little bit more. When it’s my turn to vote, I’m led to my machine. The woman who voted before me didn’t follow the instructions and, while she has cast her vote, she didn’t complete the process to submit her electronic ballot. The poll worker who led me to the machine calls over another poll worker. She says, “It takes two of us, right?” I assume this means there is a protocol for these situations. Together, they submit the ballot. I feel like I should be uneasy about what happened, but I’m not so much. While it’s frightening that it happened, I kept an eye out and nothing nefarious happened. The ballot went through. I tried to forget my screening of “Hacking Democracy.”
Aside: CNN just broadcast video of my governor, Mark Sanford (a good guy whom I’ve had the pleasure of speaking to many times), being turned away from his polling place for forgetting his voter registration card. What’s funny is that I was only required to show my drivers license. Sanford is a recognizable face, especially in the small community in which he lives. I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry.
I vote quickly, having memorized my voting guide. Our state attorney general, a man I dislike a great deal, is unopposed in his race. Rather than skip the vote, I decided to cast a write-in vote for BadBlood. He has some good ideas about putting the smackdown on the bad guys.
I return my yellow explainer sheet to the girl in the Buckeye’s fleece. She asks me if I want a sticker. I say “yes,” and smile. She peels the “I voted” sticker off a large roll. I reach out to take it from her, but she looks me squarely in the eye and puts the sticker on the right side of my chest with a firm push. Somewhere in my head, I assign some greater meaning to that moment and walk back out into the rain.
12:49pm–C.J., living proof that I can be good friends with right-wingers, has accused me of stealing his live-blog idea. He failed to notice this portion of yesterday’s post, in which I explained the evolution of my political thinking:
Tuesday night is normally reserved for dinner and cards with my buddies. As I have plans to that effect later in the week, I’m bowing out of our normal routine. Instead, I think I’ll sit here, watch the returns, and maybe even live blog our country’s greatest pot hole potential.
What this actually proves is that C.J. and I, while different colors in the politcal spectrum, think alike in many respects. I encourage you to keep up with him over at Up For Anything.
Also, Absinthe and RJ have already indicated they’ll be hijacking the comments of this post to comment on how the day is going. I invite all of you to do the same. If I can’t sit in a bar with my friends and live this day to the end, I might as well do it here.
My wife just walked out the door to go vote. She wore a shirt that read, “GEEK” across her chest. “I’m going to cast my rainbow,” is what I think she said as she walked out. Even if I misunderstood what she said, I really like it.
1:17pm–The wife has just returned from voting. She’s worked up a rant about the handicap voting procedures (which, admittedly, are lacking in good sense). While she had no idea I cast my vote for BadBlood in the state Attorney General’s race, she apparently had much the same idea and cast a write-in vote for our local police chief, Willie Johnson (seen left).
To kill time, the wife and I are periodicallly checking in on a trial we’ve been watching on Court TV in which a garbage man is either being railroaded or not in the death of a fashion writer. The trial was rather interesting, but Court TV’s Ashleigh Banfield grates on the good sense of any person of reasonable intelligence. Banfield predicted the jury would be back with a guilty verdict in less than 45 minutes. The jury has now been out for almost two hours.
“Well, at least we know Ashleigh Banfield was wrong,” the wife said. “Slut.”
1:49pm–Well, if anything, today is making me laugh, if only because the comments in this post are already as funny as anything I’ve read all day long.
As one source of my frustration with the American government revolves around the online gaming prohibition that was attached to the Port Security Bill, I’m considering playing online poker all afternoon.
2:09pm—Zippy reports (via the ever growing comments) that, like Mark Sanford here in South Carolina, two Congress people in Ohio couldn’t vote because of lack of ID or voting machine problems. In New Jersey, CNN reports that one campaign is accusing the other of chaining and locking a polling place door. In Wisconsin, a polling place has been closed (and now moved outside into the cold) because of a bomb threat. In Oklahoma, squirrels ate through some power lines (must’ve tasted like pumpkin) and knocked out power to a town of 6,000. In Virginia, there are reports of Democrat voters getting phone calls that threaten arrest if they try to vote.
So, whatta you think? I’ve got a funny feeling about today, but I can’t quite place it. What’s going to happen here?
2:37pm–Your continued visits here have bouyed my spirit. If you’re looking for others doing the same, check out…
Up For Anything
67 Degrees (legislative reporter in the land of Kinky Friedman)
2:49pm–So, I’m what music people would call an alt-country fan. I’m not much for today’s Nashville. Give me some Uncle Tupelo, Whiskeytown, Robbie Fulks, Starkweathers, Steve Earle and the Dukes (or any other Steve Earle, for that matter) over Faith Hill, Brooks and Dunn, and Carrie Underwood any day. Give me Willie, Waylon, Kris, and Merle and I’ll let you keep Paisley, Urban, and Jackson. (You see what just happened there? I didn’t catch it until I wrote it. The good ol’ boys are easily identified by their first names. We’re not on a first-name basis with the new guys).
Anyway, last night was not the best night for television (save Studio 60, which I continue to enjoy), so I let the wife watch the Country Music Awards. No big surprise, the Dixie Chicks (probably the most vocally and musically talented group of popular country artists) were nowhere to be found. Take from that what you will, but it’s further evidence, as far as I am concerned, that I have no real reason to check out the pop country stations.
3:21pm–So about half of what I was expecting for today (the part of everything that is of a more personal nature) will likely not be decided today. I’m not too bummed about that. Delays on that front are more expected than you might guess. So, today’s attention is now fully turned to the more important issue, and that’s the direction of America. With the ten-year-old bottle of Dom chilling in the fridge, I wonder what is exactly Dom-worthy. I mean, in the two years I’ve been waiting to pop the cork on the bottle, I’ve not come up with a decent reason to open it (does champagne go bad?). Now, I wonder what, if anything, will move me to open it tonight. While I’m not necessarily rooting against the Republicans, I am rooting for change. By definition, the Republicans losing control of Congress will mark significant change. However, if most of the predictions come true and the Dems take the House and the Republicans hold the Senate, is gridlock worth celebrating with the Dom? Or do I need complete change? Or, will I just drink the beer that’s been in the fridge since yesterday (damn, a beer sounds good right now).
What say you, comment monkeys?
3:34pm–Well, after a great deal of consideration, I’ve decided to throw my support behind the candidate that has helped me get where I am today. While I respect everyone’s opinion, for me, there is a clear choice.
3:51pm–Absinthe, once content to air his views in my comments section, has decided to solitarily stew at his own semi-live blog. And speaking of his stew, I know the wife is going to approach me here in about 30 minutes and ask what we’re doing for dinner. I figure neither of us feel like cooking (although Absinthe’s stew sounds pretty good and I could use the cooking exercise), I figure we’ll go with takeout. She’ll suggest pizza. I’ll suggest Chinese. We’ll likely end up with cold cut sandwiches out of the fridge. Nothing sounds good right now, except Absinthe’s stew, and I don’t figure to get over there in time to get a bowl. And suddenly, that shift I felt at the beginning of the day is starting to feel less good. Not sure what it is, but I don’t feel as good all of a sudden.
4:16pm–If you’re the type of person who gets his fix off election results, you’ll be interested to see how the major networks are handling exit poll data this year.
…a consortium of five broadcast and cable networks and The Associated Press that commissions exit polls of the major races – have decided to sequester two analysts from each news organization in a secret “quarantine room” in New York, where they alone will get access to the first waves of data from precincts around the country.
Stripped of their cell phones and Blackberries – and even monitored when they use the bathrooms – the representatives will be able to study the results of the surveys, but will not be allowed to communicate them to their newsrooms until 5 p.m. Eastern. They must sign legal affidavits guaranteeing they will not reveal any data before then.
Some of you who are not political animals may not know it, but there are those of us who watch election returns like we watch a sporting event. Ze Frank said today, it’s like watching a marathon of World Series of Poker coverage on ESPN. While I’m fairly confident he was beig sarcastic, it rings true for me.
4:48pm–True to form, my wife hit me with a pizza request. I have little interest. Just doesn’t sound very good. She said Wok Inn was fine if I’d go pick it up. Also doesn’t sound very good. There’s an Italian joint up on the corner where I could get some takeout, but…well, yeah, doesn’t sound very good.
Thee quarantined exit poll reporters are due out of their locked room in about ten minutes. That’s when we should start getting some soft numbers on how things will look tonight. That said, exit polls are pretty notorious for being unreliable (witness the past several Presidential elections).
5:10pm–Exit polls are coming out as I type. However, trying to listen over a kid who is a little angry is not going to work.
5:13pm–Alright, he’s calm. Early exit polls say a majority of voters think either party can handle terrorism and that their voting direction was based largely on national rather than local issues. Corruption in Washington took #1 as the reason people went to the polls. Pundits are saying all of the above is bad for Republicans, to which I respond…well, duh.
5:19pm–C.J. has disagreed with what he believes is spin about the above exit poll data. I think I have to disagree with him. If terrorism his the #2 spot for importance in voting, that is a push for Republicans, as people said the believe either party can handle terrorism. If Iraq is #4, that’s not great for the Dems, I agree. I would’ve expected it to be #1. Still, at #4, one would assume that means a majority of people voting against a Republican administration. So…
#1 Corruption–Plus for Democrats
#2 Terrorism–Push
#3 Economy–Plus for Republicans
#4 Iraq: Plus for Democrats
I’m not putting a lot of stock on the exit polls (kinda like sports betting, methinks). However, if someone gave me $100 and said lay it on one side or the other based on the above information, I’d gladly lay it on the Dems.
5:28pm–Food time. I went with chicken parm. Wife went with something shrimp related. The kid got the sketti. Back in a bit.
6:00pm–Back from dinner. Meh. Gotta talk to the guy about how to cook chicken parm. I was about to talk about how the rain has picked up here and the voting was probably done for the day, but the local news shows long lines at polling places. Not that it matters much here, though. I try not to talk too much about the blue state vs. red state stuff, but South Cackalacky is pretty damned red. Hell, the Gamecocks boast garnet as their school color.
6:12pm–Oh, and evidence I need to turn off the political coverage as soon as the night is over? My kid called the wife “macaca” during dinner.
6:19pm–In case you spent the last few weeks reading Dilbert and eating ice cream, here’s what we’re watching tonight:
6:32pm–The benefit of being a former political journalist is having friends on he ground tonight. One reports that polls in at least one South Carolina county will stay open 8:00 tonight because of a vting machine problem. The area is primarily African-American. A judge made the call late today at the request of the Dems.
6:53pm–Well, the polls in many eastern states are about to close. I’m wireless on the laptop in the living area of my house. Right now, we’re watching Wolf Blitzer, with MSNBC as a backup. I’ll turn to FOX if things go poorly for the Republicans. I think my kid just opened a beer in the kitchen. I need to go tell him that we have to wait at least an hour.
7:00pm–CNN now projecting that Virginia voters more than likely have passed the ban on same-sex marriage. Not sure if that is any indication in the big Senate race there. Regardless, it’s not the kind of sign I like to see. Of course, reading anything into this amendment is not really worth it at this point. As an aside, CNN’s graphics would be more useful if they didn’t change them every three seconds.
7:07pm–Three potential pick-up House seats for Democrats in Kentucky and Indiana are all skewing Democrat in early reporting. Only one of those has a significant precinct percentage, though.
7:15pm–In recent minutes, we’ve turned over to MSNBC in an attempt to save our eyes. CNN’s graphics strobe light was getting to be a bit much. We’ll head back to CNN after our eyes have rested. In other news, I think the germ factory kid may have given me his cold.
7:20pm–From the old Otis homestead, a few areas in Southwest Missouri (a key state in this year’s election) have…get this…run out of ballots. Talk about turnout.
7:23pm–Via Absinthe…a look at CNN’s exit polls shows key states skewing Democratic.
7:53pm–With the new round of polls set to close, I’m feeling a little better. I laid on my floor with the kid and watched some coverage. “Daddy, watch the news?” he said. Also, not that I think it will happen, but if former college and NFL quarterback Heath Shuler should beat Charles Taylor in the North Carolina House race, I’ll open the Dom just on principle.
8:00pm–Who is out there reading in Ohio? Is the governor’s race there any indication of how the night is going to go for DeWine? Locally, the precincts are just starting to report. The absentee votes are skewing Democratic, but that will change like a mother-effer in the coming hours. One thing is clear: my NO vote on the same-sex marriage ban will be counted, but not result in South Carolina looking less like a backward, Deliverance, red state.
8:05pm–C.J. points out that CBS has already called Sherrod Brown the winner in the Ohio Senate race over Dewine, marking one pickup for the Dems.
8:24pm–Uncle Ted just called. He has the distinction of not having been mentioned so far in today’s live blog. He’s eating kielbasa, dirty rice, and a piece of pie he requisitioned from his neighbors. If they are the neighbors I’m thinking of, they are likely very interested in the outcome of today’s votes.
Also, a friend (okay, it’s G-Rob) stationed in the state captial tells me there might be a chance our doofus Lieutenant Governor Andre Bauer might get beat by a Democrat. Of course, it looks like all of SC’s Dem precincts are coming in early, so who knows.
8:34pm–From the comments section and Boy Genius:
822PM – DOWN GOES SANTORUM!
Voting against him is the best thing I’ve done since landing on the ground in PA. God bless America.
8:45pm–Can I believe Chuck Schumer? He just told Democrat HQ that the tight Senate race in Virginia is close now, but the heavily Democratic precincts in the northern part of the state have yet to come in. Do I believe that?
9:01pm–While I’m making some hot chocolate, pol sleuths CJ and Absinthe have dug up some data that suggest Webb could infact pick up a lot of votes in the coming hours in his effort to unseat George Allen.
9:19pm–Hot chocolate with butterscotch is damned soothing for the soul. Feeling bouyed as we speak.
9:26pm–Three Senate pick-ups for the Dems now with Ohio, Rhode Island, and Pennsylvania. As Jeff Greenfield just said, that’s halfway home. Virginia, Missouri, Montana, and Tennessee are the states in play. Dems need three out of four to pick it up. To be honest, I just don’t see Virginia and Missouri going the Dems way. That’s not based on anything but a gut feeling and having lived in Missouri for 23 years.
9:32pm–Nothing official yet, but the word on the street is Tommy Moore is just about finished in his bid to unseat populist, maverick Governor Mark Sanford in South Carolina. Still waiting on word on the Lt. Gov race. A moral victory here would be Andre Bauer losing.
9:36pm–As a matter of full disclosure on the above…I voted Republican in the governor’s race. While Sanford can’t get along with the legislature and has a bit too much money to fully understand the populace as a whole, his fiscal policies fit right in line with what I think I governor should have. Plus, Tommy Moore is one of the good ol’ boys. When I saw Republicans for Moore and saw who those Republicans were, I knew Moore was a no-go.
9:38pm–Another reason Dems lose in South Carolina…according to my source…the last three songs played at the Democratic party:
Macarena
Electric slide
Honky Tonk Ba-donk-a-donk
9:43pm–Associated Press calls SC governor’s race for Mark Sanford.
9:45pm–C.J. has me convinced the Senate is no longer in play for the Dems. Virginia’s Arlington County seems Webb’s biggest hope at this point. Virginia is the key there. Optimism in L.A. suggests it’s possible, but I think C.J. has swayed me to believe it ain’t going to happen.
Absinthe disagrees. He’s combing through the precinct numbers and says:
“A lot of precincts outstanding in Richmond City, Petersburg City, Norfolk City, Loudon County, Arlington County, and those places are going to Webb by anywhere from eight points to better than 2:1 (and they’re much more populous – the districts in which Allen has a large margin are already at 100%)”
9:55pm–Apparently my home county has suffered some sort of meltdown and can’t count my vote (or anybody else who lives here). This could be interesting.
10:21pm–Methinks it’s time for a beer. If you’ve not yet opened yours, I invite you to join me.
10:29pm–Frankie is keeping an eye on the Talent-McCaskill race in Missouri for us. It’s been flipping and flopping there. McCaskill who jumped out to an early lead is looking to be fading fast.
In other news, C.J. over at Up For Anything is going out on a limb and calling Virginia for George Allen. He writes:
“Based on my questionable mathematical skillz, I’m calling the U.S. Senate race in Virginia for George Allen (R), which effectively ends the Democrats chance of regaining control of the Senate. Allen leads by 30,000+ votes, and an analysis of the outstanding precincts shows Webb could pick up as many as 27,000 in counties he’s done well, but Allen is also likely to pick up at least a few thousand.”
10:48pm–ALARM! ALARM!
If I just understood Tim Russert correctly, NBC has called North Carolina 11 for Heath Shuler. And in checking CNN…indeed…evil incarnate Charles Taylor, longtime incumbent in western North Carolina, has been defeated by a one-time quarterback.
Taylor is old school Republican. The race in these parts was us ugly as they come. The GOP went all out to turn Shuler into a monster. They failed and Charles Taylor is coming home. Hopefully he’ll hole up in his mansion and get scabies.
11:07pm–Let’s be honest with ourselves here. The Dems aren’t going to take the Senate tonight. Even if Virginia comes in, MO, TN, and MT aren’t going to.
11:31pm–I voted for a Green Party candidate today. She got all of 1% of the vote (and that was likely rounding up). Over in Virginia, the number of votes pulled in by the Green Party candidate could’ve given the Dems a pick-up seat. Kinda makes me wonder.
Networks are projecting now that the Dems will, in fact, take over the House, so they have that going for them. And as my buddy said the other day, “Sweet, sweet gridlock.”
11:50pm–Webb has just pulled slightly ahead in VA. That means I’m not going to bed quite yet. In other news, Kyl won in AZ as expected. Still, the spiteful Otis was hoping for a big upset there.
12:05am–Okay…
It’s Missour–EEEE
Not Missour–AHH
12:32am–Tennessee is off the board. That leaves VA, MO, and MT and Dems need all three. I’m eating Wasabi peas.
12:33am–George Allen is talking to his folks in Virginia right now. “This has been an interesting election and the election continues,” he said. I may or may not have heard him correctly, but I think he also thanked “macaca” for being there.
12:40am–In Missouri, Claire McCaskill has just pulled into a slim lead. Jackson County (KC area) is coming in strong for her, as expected. 31% of the votes remain to be counted in that county. St. Louis County is not a strong Democrat county like St. Louis City, but it is trending McCaskill, as well and still has 70% of the vote to come in.
12:45am–And just like that, Talent has jumped back ahead of McCaskill. That said, McCaskill has a chance. In Montana, with 35% of the vote in, Tester leads by about 8%. So, let’s look at this for a few minutes. I give it 9-1 that the Dems take both MO and MT. But, if they do, that leaves VA as the Florida of 2000. The recount will be an insane process and could take weeks. Litigation, protests, and…well, likely locusts will all be in order.
12:52am–In six degrees of seperation news, J.D. Hayworth (R-AZ), one-time sportscaster for my old TV station and incumbent Congressman in Arizona, has lost his bid for re-election.
1:05am–Jackson County, MO just came in big for Claire McCaskill. She’s now got a small lead with the rest of Jackson County and St. Louis County still to come in. The question is whether my people down in Southwest Missoui have the numbers to push Talent back over the top. If you missed it, the Joplin area (about 45 minutes southwest of where I grew up) ran out of ballots today. That means it will be a while before we see the votes out of that reddish area of Missouri.
1:28am–Now 14.5 hours into this experiment, I will admit, I’m finally tired. Sam Adams Light doesn’t not taste like Sam Adams. Wasabi peas are great for a small snack, but not for a late-night meal. Three outstanding Senate races mean the difference between a decent Democrat victory in the House or a sweep that will give them full control of Congress. I’m currently deciding whether I want to ride this one out. After all, the Dom is still chilling in the fridge.
1:47am–Um…I think McCaskill could win MO. In looking at the outstanding precincts, it’s either going to be a McCaskill win or it’s going to be very very close. She’s about to take the stage in Missouri. And I’m not going to bed yet.
1:51am–McCaskill declares victory. Holy, holy, holy.
1:53am–Funny. Seems there is a Dem strategy in place to declare victory before even the knee-jerk networks call it. It happened in VA and now MO. As Absinthe pointed out to be, it’s all about perception, especially in the case of a potential recount.
2:02am–So, with 15 hours of live blogging under my belt, I’m calling it a night. With the House locked up for the Dems, three races remain that could make a big, big difference. In VA, Dems have declared victory. In MO, Dems have declared victory and the networks are calling it for Claire McCaskill. In MT, the Dems are leading. As they just said on TV, it looks like, as Montana goes the Senate goes. I’d hoped to crack the Dom tonight, but there are wagon trains in Montana still bringing in votes. As tomorrow (well, today) is important, as well, I’m calling it quits for the night. Thanks to everyone for the fun today.
Dom on Wednesday?
Good luck. You’ll do a fine job replacing Lee Jones.
I slept not a wink. I figure tonight I get either the blessed, exhausted relief of knowing that tomorrow it might actually be morning in America, or a blackout booze coma.
Rather than liveblog my damn self I think I might hijack your comment thread with updates throughout the day. I encourage others to do the same. It’s your patriotic duty to skew Otis’ traffic numbers.
L’il Otis strikes me as more of a “Quincy” than a “June”
Sweet! Time for a comments record. Otis, what is that record? 25?
And yes, I’m headed out to vote now. Am wondering if I should be bothered by the fact that my polling place is a church.
I’ll be hoping to make the best of some bad choices. At least I’ll be in the right place to say some prayers, if I was the sort that said prayers.
Based on the Clemson poll, I’ll set the line on the Marriage Amendment at YEA -22.5. Who wants a piece?
On a side note, it was my absolute and honest pleasure to cast a vote against Rick Santorum this morning. I feel like I’d been waiting my whole life for that moment.
The Jersey races are pretty well set, regardless of what they say about Bob Menendez so the excitement doesn’t start for me until the other state’s returns start coming in.
I will pretty much relish Rick Santorum’s going down. It looked like he was going to cry in his latest round of commercials.
I vote for chicken fingers.
Chicken fingers rooooool. Just ask Gladys
But how well do you know “Chicken Fingers?” Chicken Fingers are processed and breaded, while burgers are one hundred percent beef and grilled over a fire… just like God and Jesus intended. And did you know that Chicken Fingers are not, in fact, made from the fingers of chickens? On Tuesday, November 7th, eighth graders have a choice – and that choice is clear.
Vote Hamburgers.
Paid for by the committee to preserve barbecue sauce.
Mad Cow disease…
E. Coli…
Death…
Eating ground beef kills. It’s a fact. Giving a child a hamburger is worse than handing a child a loaded handgun.
If you care about the children, you’ll vote Chicken Fingers on November 7th.
Their life depends on it.
Paid for by the committee that loves chicken fingers.
I’m a fat kid, and I approve this message.
How can you consider choosing Hamburgers without the option to add cheese? Or, bacon for that matter?
Not all chicken finger lovers use barbecue sauce. Take my old pal, Cleon Jefferson, for example. Cleon loves to dip his chicken fingers in gravy. Just like Jesus would.
The apostle Philip once said that “those who choose the beef will not spend eternity slathered in gravy.”
Let this be a lesson to you all.
Vote chicken fingers.
Campylobacter. Salmonella. They’re not dinosaurs – they’re the deadly prints left by chicken fingers. These jagged little lumps of putrid protein are served up in what one expert called “baskets of death”. Only Hamburger With Fries has a plan to stop the spread of chicken-related illness. This November 7th, vote H.W. Fries.
Paid for by Citizens Concerned About Chicken Fingers, not affiliated with the Beef Council
The fat kid would like you to believe that Cleon Jefferson eats his Chicken Fingers with gravy. But that’s not what he told the USDA. Under Capitol Hill subpoena, Cleon Jefferson lied under oath and told a Grand Jury:
I eat… Chicken Fingers… as well… as… small children… or without gravy.
Cleon Jefferson wants you to believe you aren’t doing anything wrong by having Chicken Fingers, that there’s nothing wrong with NOT having the barbecue sauce.
When you believe Cleon Jefferson, you believe in barbecue sauce. And when you believe in barbecue sauce, you are giving comfort to those that would do you harm.
On November 7th, choose Hamburgers.
Paid for by American Families for American Beef
Chicken “fingers” are jes unnatcheril. Eat yer chickens whole, like nature made ’em – fried in oil, acourse.
Ah, nothing like wiping the Santorum off the collective rim of America.
I’m off to vote – but might have to stop off for beer. I’ll never make it past 75% reporting in with the Oban.
Ashleigh Banfield loves hamburgers.
You love hamburgers.
If you vote hamburgers, you get to pretend you have a chance with Ashleigh Banfield.
Besides, chicken fingers are deep fried in oil from the middle east.
Reject the terror.
Vote for love and Ashleigh Banfield. Vote hamburgers.
Paid for by the Concerned Citizens With Too Much Time On Their Hands PAC
Did you know that All White Meat Chicken Fingers supported a 20 PERCENT DECREASE in the number of calories and saturated fat provided?
Did you know that All White Meat Chicken Fingers wanted to REDUCE the number of sauce options available to you?
Did you know that All White Meat Chicken Fingers tried to get Hamburger REMOVED from the menu in 23 states and the District of Colubmia?
DECREASE. REDUCE. REMOVE. You can’t trust All-White Meat Chicken Fingers with anything.
Paid for by the Committee To Re-Elect Hamburger To Its Rightly Earned Place At The Table
I vote Ashley Monts. And you would to, if you knew her.
Beef and Chicken aren’t worthy of your vote. Support the only meat that has certified, well documented government experience.
Vote Pork.
Congress loves it and you should too.
Paid for by the Committee to Point Out Obvious Jokes That The Author Is Amazed Haven’t Been Made Yet.
I didn’t mean to slather those poor little bastard children in gravy.
I’ve got a problem, and admitting it is my first step towards recovery. God willing, and with the support of my family, we’ll all get through this.
I gave the children a massage, and threw the gravy away.
well played, pokerwolf.
meantime: good to hear turnout was strong in greenvegas; here in florida, i was the only person in my polling place at 1 p.m. that doesn’t bode well for change, i suspect.
I promise to do my best at State Attorney General.
I also voted in line with you on the 2 prop votes you mentioned. I loved the text on the same-sex marriage ban.
“We promise to treat them just like regular humans, honest. It’s just they can’t get married. K?”
At least that’s how it came across to me.
I’ll see your Governor Can’t Vote and raise it Congressman Sent Home For More ID and Congresswoman’s Vote Won’t Scan.
Both here in Cinci. Hee!
“We promise to treat them just like regular humans, honest. It’s just they can’t get married. K?”
At least you guys are only dealing with the ban. Here in Virginia, the ban is already in place. What we’re voting on today is to put language into the State Bill of Rights (which is the beginning of the State Constitution that the only marriage that will be recognized by the State is the marriage between a man and a woman. No other coupling (even a man and a woman who aren’t married) will be recognized in my home state.
It’s horrific.
Wait, Ashleigh Banfield still exists? I’d have thought she’d have been crushed by not being named the new Rocketboom anchor and crawled off to Mark Cuban’s new channel to get coffee for Dan Rather.
My predictions are over at my live-blog… not that the comments there are nearly as extensive (although I love Mrs. Otis!!!!).
I mentioned on my blog that I’ve got $10 each with Gracie and Falstaff on who can pick the most races correctly using a point spread model. Here are the lines I set, if anyone wants to play along at home:
MARRIAGE AMENDMENTS – Constitution – Man and Woman:
Wisconsin – YEA (-9.5)
Virginia – YEA (-9.5)
DEATH PENALTY AMENDMENT (adding it as an option)
Wisconsin – YEA (-17.5)
FLORIDA STATE SENATE
Jennings (D) v. Oelrich (R) – Jennings (-5.5)
SENATE RACES
Missouri – Talent (R) v. McCaskill (D) – McCaskill (-6.5)
Montana – Burns (R) v. Tester (D) – Tester (-3.5)
New Jersey – Menendez (D) v. Kean (R) – Menendez (-6.5)
Rhode Island – Chafee (R) v. Whitehouse (D) – Whitehouse (-6.5)
Tennessee – Corker (R) v. Ford (D) – Corker (-5.5)
Virginia – Allen (R) v. Webb (D) – Webb (-1.5)
Connecticut – Lamont (D) v. Lieberman (I) – Lieberman (-11.5)
Pennsylvania – Casey (D) v. Santorum (R) – Casey (-12.5)
Florida – Harris (R) v. Nelson (D) – Nelson (-23.5)
New York – Clinton (D) v. Spencer (R) – Clinton (-34.5)
GUBERNATORIAL RACES
Florida – Crist (R) v. Davis (D) – Crist (-6.5)
Pennsylvania – Rendell (D) v. Swann (R) – Rendell (-22.5)
Michigan – Granholm (D) v. Devos (R) – Granholm (-10.5)
California – Schwarzenegger (R) v. Angelides (D) – Schwarzenegger (-16.5)
Record setting #’s of absentee ballots according to the good folks over at my polling place in MN. Might explain some of the slow/empty polling places…
The Young Daughter, 6, came home today with an “I Voted” sticker on her shirt. Apparently it was Election Day in kindergarten, too. I asked her, “Who did you vote for?”
“Giraffe,” she said. The other choices: Elephant, Monkey, and Rhinoceros.
“They didn’t have Panda,” she said. “Panda’s my favorite. But I like Giraffe, too.”
Good life lesson in there somewhere.
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27 comments! And not an Otis-pad in the bunch.
In more polling place “D’oh!” moments, the election volunteers in my precinct said they were shut down for over an hour this morning 5 minutes after the poll opened when someone fed their ballot into the optical scanner – and neglected to omit the heavy cardboard “secrecy cover”.
I’m commenting in this post to further exercise my god given right as a ‘merican, as our president would say.
I’d like to add my disappointment in my local elections lack of choices….the burbs are filled with right wing Christian conservatives. I eventually casted a vote for myself in the congressional and senate votes, though I may get nailed on my ‘no-meat’ Friday and ‘pants optional’ Sunday platforms.
The election results for today won’t be official until all of the absentee ballots are counted. Some places either won’t be done or won’t even begin to tally those until Thursday.
And what happened to all the meat comments, dammit?!
I’m astonished nobody mentioned the Sausage platform! SLACKERS!
The far left bunny hugging contingent would like to tender a write-in for veggie burgers.
Studio 60 was great last night. I can’t tell you how pissed I was when it said, “To be continued…”
And you mention the CMA awards without mentioning the Faith Hill dust-up!
Pop anything is teh suck. I’m pulling for Kinky in spirit – mostly so I can read the coverage of the party that follows. Willie will prolly bring down the bus.
Veggie burgers are third party candidates. They’re there, but they don’t get official recognition.
Granola eating, tree loving third party types would like to urge the move to instant run-off voting ASAP, before 2008 if possible.
So they make you show an ID in the South? You don’t need to show any ID in Wisconsin. Let the potential for fraud reign supreme!
Ceej-
We missed the Faith Hill CMA incident. We were flipping back and forth to the football game. I just read the story on CNN.com. That’s hilarious! I would have been pissed if I were Faith Hill, too. Did you hear Carrie Underwood’s performance? Ugh.
You have to show an id here in MO, but that id can be a power bill or a phone bill. Or your voter card that was mailed to your old address and forwarded via US postal service. Or a drivers license
Faith Hill telling it like it is. First “I better #$%*ing win” followed by “WTF?????”
Otis-
Pop the cork on that bad boy for the simple enjoyment. Gaze across that room, that’s reason enough.
Hey CJ – I didn’t vote for a single republican. That is something that I haven’t done since 1992 when I was 19 and totally dumb. This time I did it just to spite you.
We could always drink both. I guess then we’d have to hire someone to get up ten times tonight with our sick kid. That could be arranged, I guess.
Studio 60 is plaugued with the same problem its predecessor Sports Night was: it takes a trivial subject to which it places an inordinate amount of import. That said, I love the show as I did Sports Night but can understand those who don’t. I do think the John Goodman character is a fantastic attempt to address this very issue and hope he does not slip in a cariacture.
As for our fair state:
-I wish I had known badblood was interested in the job as I would have thrown my support his way rather than excercising my right not to vote for anyone in the Att. General race. McMaster had pleasantly suprised me with his low profile during the first part of his term. Our prior AG was a political TOOL who spared no effort to politicize what should be a non-political office. Politics and law enforcement should not have any correlation. The last two years though, McMaster has started to push someone’s agenda rather than spending all his time keeping the State safe from true villians. Considering his prior job, I guess I shouldn’t have been shocked.
The amendments were a pretty clear choice for me but I felt the explanations attached attempted to sway the voter. “This amendment merely makes what should be painfully obvious to you the absolute law of the land and you will be able to sleep safely tonight knowing you are being looked out for but only if you vote ‘YES’ though” was a bit much I thought.
Marriage amendment? Completely superfluous as what is being sought is already in the law.
Change the Legislative Rules? Sure. Take some time off, you need it.
Property Tax Cap Assessment? Boy, I wish this had been explained better. Some of you that voted “Yes” are going to be pissed off in a few years.
As always, I spit at the train in a futile attempt to change the system. I only voted in one uncontested race as I don’t want to see 99% numbers voting for a candidate as used to occur in the USSR. I did vote for our current Probate Judge though as he is a good guy and knows how to do the job. His brother was a different story though even though the democrats put forth a bad legacy candidate.
Our governor is probably the most libertarian in the country which I count as a good thing. His opponent is a decent guy who could probably compromise with the legislature as well as anyone. The question is, why would you want to compromise with that bunch? My biggest problem with the Gov is that I feel he has little concept of how most people live as he is from such a priveleged background. I don’t thnk he really understands how some people are just poor and have little hope changing that situation. He also has a misunderstanding of public education. His candidate will win the Sec. of Education and be met with utter resistance from the educational establishment. WHo knows? Maybe this conflict will create some progress. Governor was tough bt Ichose the one least beholden to anyone.
Treasurer? Bobby Bowden vs. Guy Who is Just Looking to get Elected so he can run as a Real Republican in the next Seante race and unseat a rational person who believes problems are best solved by negotiation. C’mon Bobby!
And Pork all the way. C’mon, that’s too easy.
I’m really thinking GRIDLOCK (I almost misspelled it gridlick, which would also be interesting) is the best-case scenario at this point. Neither major party can seem to remove their heads from their asses.
Cast my vote for the great american cheeseburger or the oft neglected chili-cheese burger.
Otis: Pop the cork because you’re happy and healthy, with a beautiful family. And pop the cork because no matter what the result is tonight, the United States will once again demonstrate a successful transfer of power with only minor complaints and threats of lawsuits. There will be no riots, there will be no coup necessary.
Chilly: I didn’t vote for any Republicans this year either!
Wes: I thought John Goodman was great. He seemed like a caricature at first, and then flipped it on us very effectively. It was a great episode.
Oh… and I can be swayed to vote Hamburger if it happens to be topped with crumbled blue cheese. Mmmmmmmm
What the fuck is that slimy residue on that burger anyway?
If it’s bull semen, then that’s fine. But, anything else…say, dijon mustard, then it’s got to go.
Honestly, anything short of the Democrats taking the entire fucking Hill will be a disappointment. Republicans can lick my upper grundle and chew on my lower scrotal.
There. I said it.
How did hamburger ever beat steak in the primary?
May I suggest Thursday night for the popping? You’d have 4 drinkers who could easily polish that thing off.
We should rent a limo.
nothing says “gay marriage ban” like 5 of G-vegas’s finest sipping Dom in the back of limo for no other reason than they have Dom and a limo.
That’s how we roll, Chilly. That’s how we roll.
I have a confession to make: I voted for Jesse Ventura.
Note that I’m not making this confession on my blog.
I’m just saying, if you’re looking for someone upon whom to heap blame for the Governator (who’s going to win his goddamn reelection race), I’m as culpable as anybody.