You want pictures? You got pictures.
Post useless without pics. —Pauly
Well, the bleeding has finally stopped. It took a little less than 24 hours. I consider that a win. As I mentioned last night, my left index finger lost a battle with some German steel. I thought the story was enough to sate the bloodlust of my sick audience. Obviously not.
So, you still wanna see it? Okay. Hereyago.
The right side of the finger used to a look a lot like the left side. Now…well, it doesn’t. I’m thinking it will get all starfishy and grow back. So, I’ve got that going for me.
My imagination had it far, far worse than it appears from the photo. Back in the ’70s, my mother once lost the tip of her finger in a blender. She lost much more than this, and was rushed to the emergency room.
I still think I would have seen a doctor if it wouldn’t stop bleeding for hours. I hope it doesn’t impair you too much as it heals.
Thank you.
Pauly and I as we look at your photo.
Me: That’s gross!
Him: That’s AWESOME!!
It’s just a flesh wound.
Jeebus, you had me thinking it was so much worse. On the other hand, maybe because you’re such a great writer, we felt your pain…deeply. Yeah, that’s it.
I clicked on the link with great trepidation. I discovered the reason men don’t have babies.
You might be able to get a handicapped tag because of that. VIP parking at the Piggly Wiggly!
I’ve done the math on this and the only problems you’ll have with that finger are:
Picking your nose. Gone is your tiny booger shovel.
Masturbating. Dagger-like remaining nail.
Opening cans of beer. Luckily there are other ways.
Other than that, I foresee no problems. I’d be super proud of it and showing it to everyone. Just don’t tell them you did it while slicing ginger. I’d maybe say you were stabbing a hornet’s nest when it happened, or some other more manly way.
Well that was anticlimactic.
Just hope it doesn’t go all octopus and grow vestigial fingers…
Ow. OWOWOWOWOWOWO.
“I’m thinking it will get all starfishy and grow back.”
Will there be updates, (including pictures, natch!) on this phenomenon?