Two things that should be awesome but aren’t

I feel compelled to warn you. See, when I like something, it generally means I really like it. I generally will go on and on about it until the next big thing comes along and replaces it, or such time that people start actively making fun of me for my evangelism (see: Ecco shoes).

So, here are a couple of things I thought I’d rave about, but instead…well, suck.

XM Sirius is lazy and deserves to go bankrupt

I’ve made no secret how I feel about the XM Sirius merger. It ruined X-Country and nearly forced me to cancel my subscription. But then I found Jam On, another station that plays a lot of jam/festival bands. For a couple days, I thought it was going to save my love for XM. Then I listened for more than two days. The station has live jocks and presumably a program director. That’s why it’s so confusing when I hear the same songs every day. XM-Sirius’ Jam-On programs itself in heavy rotation like a traditional commercial station. There are only so many times I can listen to Lotus’ cover of Mr. Roboto without wanting to kill my radio. The Godzilla cover by moe is so horrible, I don’t know how it gets played at all. And, in the entire Black Crowes live catalog, must XM play the live version of She Talks to Angels in which the crowd actually boos at the beginning? The library of jam band music should be so deep I don’t hear the same version of the same song in any given week, let along every damned day. XM Sirius should realize that people pay for a subscription so they don’t have to listen to songs in heavy rotation. Why? Why does it have to suck so bad. The only thing that could suck worse is going back to listening to traditional commercial radio. Maybe that’s why the company doesn’t care.

Appaloosa blows

I trust RottenTomatoes.com. If a movie gets 75% on the good side of the Mater Meter, I feel comfortable putting it my Netflix cue. Now, given, this is not Netflix’s fault. I won’t shoot the messenger here, but damn…Appaloosa was really bad. Despite getting a 75% on Rotten Tomatoes, the film fails in just about every way. I literally could not force myself to watch the entire thing. I honestly can’t see what people like in the film. With the exception of Viggo Mortensen, the movie is so poorly acted, poorly cut, poorly conceived, and just all around poor, I was almost embarrassed for writer, actor, and director Ed Harris. I’ve also not seen Renée Zellweger look worse. It was as if Harris et al went to the local Votech School of Character Development and failed. Many people were like, “Hurray for Harris! He’s keeping the western genre alive!” I protest, “If this is the way you keep something alive, remind me not to let Ed Harris dog-sit for me while I’m on vacation.”

And Netflix is partially to blame. It put Appaloosa is the films it was sure I’d enjoy. “You liked Unforgiven, so you will probably like Appaloosa!”

Let’s be clear. Ed Harris was pretty good in “A History of Violence.” I liked him in “Apollo 13.” Hell, he was even cute in “Milk Money.” But the man is not Clint Eastwood and should not pretend to be.

***

Sorry about that. I’m a little on edge. It’s tax season and I can’t find anyone to sell me Uruguayan Pesos. You understand, I’m sure.