Category: 2001-2007

Pictures from the road I am not a professional photographer. While I have had some formal education in shot composition, I know next to nothing about photography. What’s more, I don’t have any illusions...

Experiments in sanity “So how long have you been working from home?” The dude had a weatherman’s voice and a sales pitch that even a jaded former-journalist could buy. He was telling me how...

Stuck in Monte Carlo “Alright, MacGyver, what are you going to do now?” I actually said it–out loud–to myself. To my right was a comfortable sofa coverered in thick pillows. To my right was...

A night at Jimmyz Jimmyz. It sounds like the bad-idea-name for a bar on Rutherford Road. The bar that sits between the half million dollar townhomes and the $15,000 crack houses. The bar that...

File this under… the supidest thing I have considered in the past 48 hours. Only 24 hours ago, the stupidest thing I had considered was how to free myself from an 8×8 outdoor prison....

Becoming an Evil-Doer: Step 2 See Becoming an Evil-Doer: Step 1 for some context. So, there’s this guy. I’ll call him Prick-Cocksucker (PC for short). An old college buddy of mine used that name...

Meme Otis Pauly is on the road in LaLa Land. He’s been kicking out the jams and providing what is surely amphetamine-driven prose for the past few weeks. Today, I got the L.A. photo...

Generations Several years ago, I bought my parents an interesting Christmas gift. It was a custom leather-bound, hand-stamped, parchment paper journal. Inside, I’d written up a few memories from my childhood. The gift came...

Becoming an Evil-Doer: Step 1 Just after 2am this morning, I found myself getting a little depressed. That doesn’t happen to me very much anymore. And by depressed, I don’t mean “damn, I could...

Everybody must get stoned I remember when my friends started getting suspicious. Mrs. Otis turned down a lot of New Year’s Eve drinks back at the beginning of 2004. The smart ones in the...

From the dancing feet of babes Somehow, with a title like that, I’d expect myself to launch into a story about a stripper, one with happy feet and fake breasts that she got done...

Steeping in the real world “Helluh,” he said. It was surely “hello,” but the accent made it sound like he’d eaten all the o’s out of his Spaghetti-Os and was left with nothing but...

Comedy Assplosion It’s been more than two years since my dad came as close to death as most people do without soon finding themselves in a very dark place. It’s been two years of...

Dispatch from morning The padding of the dog’s feet is the first sign. Without her collar, Scoop is stealthy. Only the click of her brittle nails on the hardwoods at the bottom of the...