Tom Green goes home
It was the middle of the morning or middle of the night. Describing the actual time is pointless. It was simply one of those moments in Vegas when the sun isn’t up and people...
Category: Friends & Family
A father’s love
What kind of father am I? With just a couple of days before I leave for a three-weak run in Vegas, I should be teaching my son how to build a house, or at...
Twelve years in love, eight years official
You should have seen her. She wore denim overall shorts and a shirt that rose up over her hips. Everything about her turned me into a 13-year-old boy. The bare section of her midriff...
Jesus made me do it
Here on Mt. Otis, we are some of the worst excuse makers around. Ask my kid why he did something bad, and he’ll respond, “Because I did.” Ask the wife why she’s acting like...
Two years without Gulfman
Two years ago at this time, we knew Gulfman was dead. We’d known for a couple of days, but it wasn’t really official until May 20, 2006. In the time since he died, I’ve...
Big box blues
I hate this part. There was a time when my not-yet-atrophied heart thought about the romantic nature of gift-buying. I would spend hours looking for the perfect gift, from a jeweler similar to this...
Slice of summer
Autumn makes me think. Spring makes me feel. Winter makes me numb. Summer makes me…me. Summer smells like cut grass at sundown. It looks like a teenage girl’s windblown sundress. It feels like sweat...
Brought up on Sin City
I’ve managed to make optimism a fault. I don’t know how it happened, but some time in the last decade, I’ve figured out a way to find silver linings in sow’s ears (not to...
Twinkle
I’ve just spent five days as Mr. Mom. It was exhausting, frustrating, and absolutely fantastic. I have way too much to do to properly recount the past week. Two quick anecdotes, though, just to...
Cat away
My wife is on a boat somewhere and sleeping in a cabin with another pretty woman. I made sure my wife’s camera was charged before she left. Beginning yesterday morning and lasting until Monday...
Things to read elsewhere
As I type, my entirely family is huddled in the master bedroom. The dog is on a leash, the wife and I are sitting in bed, and the boy is running around on the...
Wil Wheaton recommends, Otis’ son mildly traumatized
My new shirt came in the mail yesterday. I’m wearing it this afternoon. Today at lunch, the boy looked at me with the same, innocent and quizzical eyes. “Who are those guys, Daddy?” I...
T’s Rules for Home Improvement
In April 1999, I walked into a new job. It was a bustling newsroom that had already known my wife for a few weeks. The first desk I passed was one of those places...