Essays from an american mutt

In case of emergency

“You do not want to be the last one in here,” he said. A few seconds later, I was in the hallway with all my gear and a few hundred other people. If Mike...

The flour did not prepare me

I was 16 years old and carrying a five-pound bag of flour around the halls of Willard High School. Because the flour was wrapped in a baby blanket and wearing a diaper–and because I...

Drunk in London

It’s easy to booze it up on the road trips I take. The poker world is full of people who only know two things: poker and partying. As I get older, I have to...

Bye, London

The trip was exhausting. The hours were pretty long and the jet lag lag made it all longer. I’m still barely conscious, but I made it home last night. I might write more about...

The bank

There is no one in the bank but the tellers, the manager, and the disembodied voice of the drive-through customer in the first lane. The customer has neither a dog nor a child, so...

Finished fiction

I don’t like to leave things unfinished. It’s rare of me to start any project and not work tirelessly on it until it’s finished or dead. Earlier this year, I thought it would be...

On failure

Richard Summers could claim scarred black lab tables and an exceedingly bad combover. This was the Summers Experience, and it was not a good one. It was easy to sit in the back of...

Reset

People ask me what I do. They don’t get it. Who is this guy who shaves when he wants, complains of working at 4am, and finds time for a walk in the park at...

Why I’m angry at Mark Sanford

Like the stages of grief associated with the death of a loved one, I’ve gone through several levels of discombobulation with South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. I skipped Disbelief, moved onto Seriously?, and swam...