A million little pieces
My kid loves animals. I could buy him the most expensive toys in the world and he would set them aside to play with his over-large collection of Sclheich wildlife figurines.
The concept of habitat is fascinating to my boy. He’ll go on and on about it. Until today, he would create habitats out of shoe boxes and whatever else he could find. Today, he got a collection of habitats to house his animals. Three of the smaller ones (alligator, seal, and penguin) went together in short order. Assembly on the big zoo, however, was not as expected.
How so? Well, here’s the short version: It took my dad and me more than three hours to put it together. My father had a career as a very successful businessman. I’m a college graduate. It took us three hours to put together a toy.
Why? I actually counted the number of individual pieces in the box. Take a guess. No, go on. I dare you.
Five hundred and one.
Yep. Five hundred and one individual pieces that had to be assembled before my boy could get his habitat on.
I don’t know the sadistic bastard who thought it was funny to fail to mention the assembly requirements on the damned box, but if I ever meet him, I will punch him right in his pretty little mouth.
In what free society does a person pay for a product and then have to put the individual blossoms on the decorative flora? Answer me that. Just look at the picture below. See those blossoms? We actually put every one of those on.
Among the 501 pieces were a few cheaper animals. The photo below is exactly as the animals came out of the box. Is four years old to young to start explaining to my son how nature works and that if he ever sees a zebra and giraffe in the throes of passion, he should walk the other way?
So, now I’m exhausted, but the boy has his habitats. That makes for a pretty good day. Only two more days until birthday week is over.
Da Goddess, if you’ve made it this far, shoot me an e-mail with your address. The copy of Kavalier and Clay is yours.
In other news…my wife is pretty.