At home where I belong
The hibiscus took on leaves while I was gone. I’d been home for two days before I noticed. When I left, the season was trying to change, but couldn’t quite get over the hump....
Author: Brad Willis
Reflections of Otis
A few minutes ago, I looked at my watch and realized I hadn’t peed in more than eight hours. That’s not me. No time for a proper write-up here, so I offer a picture...
Being thankful for New Yorkers
I don’t understand the electronic device rules on airplanes. I hardly see how my iPod and headphones could possibly make a plane crash. Pilots apparently believe in a little thing called electro-magnetic interference (EMI)...
Monte Carlo Man
Milan was probably the scariest part. A year ago at this time, I had to deal with Atlanta. If you aren’t from around these parts or don’t do much business with Delta, you may...
Foot fetish
Some people don’t like feet. I have a good friend and former work colleague who would literally shudder at the thought of a bare foot. The day a fan wrote and asked for her...
13-Minute Sex and the DVR
Thank goodness for Science. Bless it. Really. Not even a year ago, Science gave us, ahem, proof that guys prefer hot chicks. That’s why we pay Science. That’s why we drop Science like Galileo...
No joke
In recogition of this most important of days…I offer a snippet of an old post that explains a lot about me… *** I lost my virginity on April Fools Day. Looking back, there was...
Twinkle
I’ve just spent five days as Mr. Mom. It was exhausting, frustrating, and absolutely fantastic. I have way too much to do to properly recount the past week. Two quick anecdotes, though, just to...
TSA wants to see your rack
From the They Can’t Be Serious Department: Long version: Nipple Ring Search Dispute Short version: Girl with nipple rings forced to remove said rings after failing x-ray machine at Lubbock airport. Hires Gloria Allred...
Cat away
My wife is on a boat somewhere and sleeping in a cabin with another pretty woman. I made sure my wife’s camera was charged before she left. Beginning yesterday morning and lasting until Monday...
Air marshals compete with virtual sluts for outrage
Updated below “This is the outrage story of the morning,” CNN anchor Tony Harris said. Let me be clear. I rarely take seriously anything that comes out of Harris’ mouth. In the past quarter-century,...
Things to read elsewhere
As I type, my entirely family is huddled in the master bedroom. The dog is on a leash, the wife and I are sitting in bed, and the boy is running around on the...
Wil Wheaton recommends, Otis’ son mildly traumatized
My new shirt came in the mail yesterday. I’m wearing it this afternoon. Today at lunch, the boy looked at me with the same, innocent and quizzical eyes. “Who are those guys, Daddy?” I...
T’s Rules for Home Improvement
In April 1999, I walked into a new job. It was a bustling newsroom that had already known my wife for a few weeks. The first desk I passed was one of those places...