Los Angeles Douchebagicus
Los Angeles Douchebagicus is a member of the Douchebagicus family and is most widespread in the American West. A domesticated ancestor of the wild French Douchebag, the L.A. Douchebag (as it is commonly known)...
Category: Humanity
Frolf body
I rolled over this morning and wished I’d had a mirror nearby. By all indications, I’d been in a car wreck, and I wanted to know how bad it had been. Had my beautiful...
When 90% is all you get
I had neither shaved nor showered in 48 hours and the doctor who looked like John Grisham was telling me how he was going to stick a two-inch needle into my newborn’s spinal column....
Remember
Photo credit: I wish I knew. It’s been reposted on the internet so many times, I can’t find the original source. So, thanks.
It’s not for my nipples
“Call me when you leave the gym,” my wife said. “I’m not sure if I’m going to have time to pick up my prescription.” I was listening. I promise. Just not enough to ask...
Endorse this
There’s a very important class that famous people take. You probably don’t know about it because you have to be famous before you’re allowed in the Circle of Lust. I only know about it...
Mmmm, bacon
It’s comfort food week on Mt. Otis. I made an old school taco salad last night–really traditional, uninventive, and awesome beyond words. Near the end of the prep work, I almost went avant-garde. I...
Twitter, Facebook, and biscuits
My grandparents live on a county road in southwest Missouri. My great uncle lives just behind them, just across a dirt road. My mom’s cousin lives a couple of places down. When we buried...
Uruguay? That’s random!
The girl who cuts my hair knows I keep an odd travel schedule. She looked at me in the mirror last week and asked, “Got any trips planned?” “Going to Uruguay on Sunday,” I...
Hope and Change hiccup
I like me some Kool-Aid. I like it better when it’s mixed with things that make me even more happy. You mix Hope with Change and I’ll pound them like an Irish Car Bomb...
Much ado about a monkey
Sean Delonas should be embarrassed. The New York Post editorial cartoonist has become a target of people like Rev. Al Sharpton and CNN’s Roland Martin for the cartoon you see below. Delonas and the...
At ease, soldier
I had a number of things I wanted to write about today, but nothing seems more important than this. My buddy Daly is now officially at ease. That’s him today with his discharge papers....
When you gonna put the paint on my belly?
Katie looked at me and pulled out her tools. I looked back and remembered I hadn’t worn my wedding ring. I felt guilty as the blond, taut woman put her hand on my arm...
Deja true
I have a hard time believing in the supernatural. I’m a literalist turned existentialist turned fatalist turned optimist. I find it easier to be part of the -mist than a -list. You understand, I’m...