Finding the bridge
I woke to my boy’s face smiling proudly. He held a box as big as his head. Inside was a new, fancy Garmin GPS system. Breakfast was ready and the only thing standing between...
Category: 2001-2007
All posts from 2001-2007
RIP Tim Russert
I’d like to think journalism won’t die with him, but Tim Russert was capital “J” journalism’s face and voice. I still believe in journalism, but it will be a lot harder without Russert at...
Langerado 2008: Strawberry Shortcake’s key changes
By the time Sam Bush stepped to the stage on Friday afternoon, the south Florida sun had breached the clouds and enforced every sunscreen rule my mother ever preached. I sat on the ground...
Dear John Blogger
I remember our first night together. We were introduced by a mutual friend over a low country boil. The Tybee Island sun was setting and my head was light with spirits. I was so...
Getting screwed: The Live Blog
9:00am: Two days ago, my wife told me both of our uptairs toilets had problems. By problems, she meant they wfere flushing, but doing so all over the damned floor. I accused her of...
Porn
I am not on a diet. I probably need to be. Beginning in early July, I started to notice that my lifestyle (fast drinks, fast food, no exercise, etc.) was starting to manifest itself...
The marriage bed
My wife and I have a problem in the bedroom. I’ve slept in more places than I can count–from five-star hotels to hammocks, I’ve seen it all. I’ve woken up on the best mattress...
Barack Obama: A different kind of popular vote
I come from a generation of people who immediately disregard anything that gains any popularity among the general public. It’s cool until other people like it. Then, “It’s played, man. Played.” These are the...
Hermit crab
I’ve left the house four times in the last sixteen days. I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family where I was mean to the boy. I went to my accountant’s twice. I’m...
Take a letter to Kublai Khan
I hate it when I get like this. It’s nothing I can define outside of “uninspired.” Even that isn’t entirely true. The best word is “blank.” I am 100% blank right now. It’s one...
Poultry Primary sees winner and running mate
DATELINE: TYSON FARMS — Even the memory of Colonel Sanders couldn’t save the one-time Poultry Party golden child from the deep frier. After a campaign that lasted through six months of egg collection, Buffalo...
Super Wednesday
Poultry Primary to continue as two-bird race Within a period of one hour last night, Blogger ended my 16-hour Super Tuesday blog, my kid woke up with some sort of freak-out, and a friend...
Super Tuesday Live Blog
12:42am–Of course, Blogger sticks it to me in the waning moments… 12:27am–CNN gives Missouri to McCain. President McCain…still getting used to that one. 12:25am–CNN gives California to Clinton and McCain. That’s not how I...
Four conversations
Conversation with my son just now: “There’s a man in my sack with the corn.” He says this while holding a corn-filled heating bag. “The man in the sack said ‘everyone attack’ and he’s...